“All's fair in love and war means that the rules of normal civility do not apply during war-making, and they do not apply when one is desperately in love. The sentiment is that any type of behavior is acceptable if it gets one what he wants in matters of combat and of the heart.” Quoted from here.
So… All is fair in love in war… Meh. I dunno about that.
Here is an instance where love gets put in place of romance. And where it might seem plausible to pursue a romantic passion with methods that are in opposition to loving behavior …and then simply rationalize your actions with a misconstrued philosophical quip.
Let’s get right to the extreme, killing someone because you love someone is not ok. Or “I love Rebecca, that’s why I smashed her new boyfriend’s face in with my fist.” Thank goodness humans decided to make laws that uphold the value of human life and discourage violence…. But what about social crimes like gossip, indifference, bullying, outcasting, or casting doubt on romantic opponents? Do we have to fight, undermine and seek to destroy each other to get what we want? As hard as it is for two people to trust each other, and as brave as two people need to be to connect and commit…. I can’t imagine that this behavior makes it any easier.
Fighting for love is an oxymoron. To act like a warlock in the process of trying to woo your mates seems like it’s fair to say is closer to insanity than love.
Even when romance becomes competitive, it makes love even less likely to flourish.
I believe the love we’re evolving to understand is beyond competitive romance. It is shared. The love we’re evolving to know isn’t something we have to fight for… it requires active peace.
There are indeed no rules because we’re figuring it out, and with that you have the freedom and responsibility to choose love at every actionable step. I know “All is fair in love and war” is just a saying. But why are we saying it if it’s a dumb and stupid thing to say?
What if we saw each other’s needs for romance and love and helped each other get there? Instead of ripping each other down to lift ourselves up, what if we could devote ourselves to helping each other find fulfilling romantic relationships? What if we laid down our selfish shields of armor and served each other’s needs? What if channeling our inner cupid, was valued more than our self-serving competitive nature?
If we are at metaphorical war with isolation, loneliness, and indifference… if we’re struggling to break anxiety and meet each other in the middle the path is love. But there is a right and a fair way to go about it.
The only way to end wars is to work toward peace, and peace is the path to love.
The true way to love is a path of peace, kindness, trust, honesty…
Maybe it should be, “All is fair in love and peace.”