Sometimes it seems too far-fetched to show unconditional love. In a heated moment of tension, going palms up like a glowing white-robed biblical figure just doesn’t seem rational. Maybe it makes sense during a disagreement at the meditation retreat in Bali, but it sure isn’t going to settle anything on the streets or at the pub or while you’re disputing something on the phone with your landlord.
Love might sometimes feel overly ideal, radically implausible, and unfitting for your environment or situation, but you can always move toward it. In any given situation you can take a step closer to love. Think of it this way, if love is at the north spectrum and hate is at the south, no matter where you are at in the moment you can find your way to love. Even if you can feel yourself on the brink of punching someone in the face — propelled by a blinding rogue wave of hatred swelling in your gut, a feeling of your identity or freedom stripped from you… you must trust you can find a moment of awareness, a breath to let it go and move towards peace. In most cases, you can remove yourself from the situation. You can let it pass, let the insult go, or the hurt slide away. You can embrace and shock absorb another human’s wrong and move forward on the alternate route to love.
No matter how shitty the situation or sour the relationship the question could always be in some form, “which way toward love?” The solution of what to do then becomes simpler. Solving interpersonal problems isn’t simple by any means, there are unfathomable variations and possibilities of what could be the right thing to do for the right person in the right situation. We can’t control all of the outcomes, but acting in the general direction of love is a solid guide and behavioral compass.
Solving problems with people can be tricky. Sometimes little gifts and acts of warmth can breed mistrust. Sometimes you need to step away to find time and feel what’s appropriate. Sometimes there are other variables, like the influence of friends or family people rely on. All those things can steer minds on and off the path. Love should simplify this. Maybe sometimes the action is no action. There are lots of maybes and sometimes to consider, and sometimes maybe it’s creating a space with the intention to allow for time and understanding and for everyone to return to their senses. It’s helpful to remember that what we all eventually want as humans is to keep moving along the path toward love.
And the reason we should want to move toward love? Because that is what generates a positive life for all. In the short run it might be difficult to see or there might be self-serving, tempting reasons to choose the negative route, but in the long run, love is the way — it’s the way for you and for me.
Love in its purest form might not be the answer in every moment, maybe it’s acknowledging someone’s presence, offering your kindness, maybe it’s patience, holding onto your integrity, or biting your tongue on malicious gossip. Perhaps it’s building a connection and reaching out. Treating yourself or another with dignity. You can share, and you can be honest and transparent to help someone learn. All of these virtues build upon each other, they are the directions to the destination — love. When we arrive, it is what ends the cycles of violence and hostile behavior. It’s what allows life to flourish, go on and shine.
To create a world where love is more prevalent, all it takes is these little steps toward love. All of us need to remember, they are always right in front of us.