After listening to Comedy, Sex, God by Pete Holmes one thing is for sure, Pete is funny. I’ve always enjoyed the thought-provoking comedy and his dazzling ability to make concepts that are high-minded and meta-physical approachable (and humorous) for the everyman. After all, Without the ability to share these ideas and appeal to the masses they don’t quite reach their potential strength.
On top of Pete being a funny human, he’s a funny writer and along with all that silliness comes a deeply meaningful and entertaining book. It’s about much more than comedy. It takes you along his path to discover spirituality and find a reasonable way to answer his big question, “What is this?” Referring to the grand mystery of the universe, it’s a question we all share. Although we may consider and think about its complexity to varying degrees, it’s safe to say that just about everyone has looked around, in their own eyes in the mirror, or up at the stars and wondered, “What the heck is this?” This reality that we all live in. The fact that we’re all flying on a space rock in a seemingly infinite black cosmos that’s lit with gigantic sources of gas, dust, and smoldering hot light. And we’re all here putting on pants, sending texts, and eating stuff.
Along with that Pete also talks about the ideas of consciousness, awareness, and losing the sense of self that blinds us from our interconnected shared sense of life. It’s not easy to define, but the way I see it, there’s something within this thing (our body) we are existing in, that is universal and mysterious. That this metaphysical thing, that has the ability to observe our own selves thinking exists and it’s something that exists within everyone. But we’re just constantly thinking inside this organism and we don’t quite stop often enough to be aware of it.
Pete’s revelations toward spirituality and oneness involved Joseph Campbell, Ram Das and we seem to have both read and been fans of Eckhart Tolle. I find it interesting just like religion, how there are many different paths towards a similar understanding. For me, I’ve found it through a surface-level understanding of science and the universe. As I mentioned Eckhart Tolle really helped in unlocking the understanding of ego and the sense of self, his perspective is what really shifted how I observe human behavior and my own. Also, meditation and a lot of Andy from Headspace. I don’t like the idea of a guru or the sound of the word guru, it sounds too silly and close to the word gulu. Which is the way you’d spell the Sicilian pronunciation of the word culo, which means ass. Gurus and drugs, just seem silly and stupid to me. But there is something real about science. It accepts that we do not have the answers yet it’s a constant pursuit of truth and understanding. It’s willingness to disprove itself and let go of what was once understood as true and a good explanation. Whatever explanations we have for the universe now are allowed to evolve and be improved upon as we go. We’re not making it up as we go and we’re not exactly certain what the mystery is, but we’re figuring it out and discovering it as we move forward.
God as a metaphor. Pete explains Joseph Campbell's meaning of God as a metaphor. For me, I didn’t have to undo much in my mind for me to see it that way. Growing up Catholic and going to Catholic school was a great way to learn about a religion and make friends and meet kind-hearted people with strong morals and solid family structures. Sure. You met and were witness to many exemplary people. But the idea to accept blindly what religion says as the truth about the nature of our universe and life after death, just never made any sense. To that, it made better sense to look at nature and science. Death is a mystery but I don't need to fear it. Because right now, in the present moment, I’m alive. And that’s where I’m at. I’m alive now and breathing and so are you.
There are times where I feel like Pete makes the experience of mushrooms sound a little too much like an encouraging advertisement. I’m not into drugs and I see it as an unsustainable way to achieve an (arguably) better state of mind. It’s a cheap and destructive trick to get your mind somewhere you want it to be. He eventually seems to get a little wiser on this idea, but still, I wouldn’t condone mind-altering drug use to anyone. There’s also his willy nilly use of the word love, which is a peculiar bone to pick, but it’s another one I have. Like most people, he uses the word love in a broad and thoughtless way. It’s popular to use the word love that way, but as I’ve spelled out and presented in writings before I think it’s detrimental to the potential of love as an action and dilutes it from its most impactful meaning. It’s just worth a deeper understanding and more articulate use of language. That’s all I’m saying.
Pete touches on the idea of meditation being a helpful tool. But something that was mind-opening to me was his observation on how it ultimately can become a crutch people like to brag about or form cults around. Being spiritual is wonderful. But when you use spirituality as a means to define or construct your identity it becomes annoying. Spiritually isn’t a competition. Eventually, I’m going to have to stop pressing the Headspace button and learn to breathe in and just enjoy life without enjoying the pompous idea that I meditate every day. The reward of going on a mediation steak and getting a digital badge that acknowledges I’ve done something 365 days in a row is impressive, but who the hell cares?
What else?
I like that he’s jazzed up about Jesus. When you think about Jesus Christ as just an amazing guy and a larger than life historical figure and perhaps the first truly global celebrity of mankind… it just makes more sense. The guy was advanced, enlightened, there must have been something magical about him. But like all other human beings, he was probably a human being, who lived, taught, and led through love. Considering him to be anything else would be magical thinking. The stories of him are simply that, stories. I don't think he physically defied any laws of nature, but I believe his example of love is incredibly important and still valid today. His way of living. His ability to disconnect from the sense of self or ego. To be “I Am Who Am” His way is still beautiful and inspiring and something worth striving for every human on earth.
Another idea I liked is that of, “There is no test.” But there's a good reason to still be a good person. There’s still a sensible path. Meaning you don’t need religion or belief in an afterlife or blind faith in some made-up mythical reward system to believe in being a good person. You can just do things to help other people out because helping other people out is worthwhile and in the long-run has a positive-sum for everyone. We’re all here with the potential to help and lift each other up. Isn’t that just reason enough to be good and try to evolve our human behavior? It’s inspiring to me even if it’s rosey-eyed and a bit over-optimistic.
Sometimes I also find that I’m too harsh or judgemental on people. We all have polarizing natures — there are internal and external battles that constantly arise as we navigate life. Nobody is perfect. I’m friends with some ego-centric, sex-obsessed, greedy, dumb, selfish, judgemental, womanizing, uneasy, miserable and helpless bastards… maybe I should just be more observant and find ways to lead or love them for all their craziness. We’re all a bit coconuts, but a little distance from the other idiots from time to time doesn’t hurt either.
The funny tuning fork. There is something about that line he recalls from his bond with Conan. Where Conan says, “When I’m around you, my funny tuning fork vibrates.” When I heard that I realized I have one too, and I pay attention to it. When it does vibrate it feels like I want to get to know this soul more and more. I’m attracted and seduced by laughter, truth and joy. I’ve never thought or envisioned such a fork before this book, but I am tickled by the idea of it. If I am a comedian it’s at heart, not by trade. But part of me still sees that attitude reflecting in how Pete describes himself and the cohort of comedians. How they observe people and see themselves as the ones in the back of the classroom making fun of everything. Sort of how I see people get married and go through life, and just noticing from my vantage point that everyone seems a bit nuts.
This book is really inspiring, Pete’s journey to change and overcome a narrow religion and constantly seek out a wider perspective of the world is brave. It makes me think we all should have a similar goal to go out and understand as much about the world as we can. We should be getting out there and trying to be less wrong and challenge our beliefs.
The way you and I see and understand the world is true and right from our POV. But it might not be to someone else. So, I guess it’s our sense of duty to gain new perspectives, to understand how others view the world, and to help shape a reality that is less wrong — to gain greater empathy and understanding of everything and others. There are many different religions that all point to the same truth. But the truth is, there is no certainty, it’s still one big mystery. For me, it’s ok to just say we just don’t know. We really just don’t know what this is all about.